As we worked our way through the foster care licensing process, one of the biggest steps was preparing our house for the home study.
I wasn’t particularly worried about that part. We kept our house clean and reasonably organized, and because we’d never had children living there, I hadn’t thought about all the ways the house itself would need to change.
I quickly learned that cleanliness wasn’t really the point. Safety was.
Preparing Our House for the Home Study
Some of the requirements made immediate sense. Others were things we’d never had a reason to think about before.
We found ourselves:
- Installing child locks on cupboards and drawers
- Locking up all medications—prescription and over-the-counter
- Securing cleaning supplies in locked cabinets
- Moving knives off the counter and into locked drawers
- Adding fire extinguishers to every floor
- Updating smoke detectors
- Creating and practicing an emergency escape plan
- Buying escape ladders for the second floor
It wasn’t just a few adjustments. We were changing how our home functioned before a child had even walked through the door.
One of those adjustments involved our refrigerator.
I’ll never forget standing in a store asking an employee if they carried refrigerator locks. She looked understandably confused, and I found myself explaining that we were preparing for foster care.
In the end, we moved our alcohol to a basement refrigerator and added a lock there instead.
I remember thinking how strange it was to suddenly be looking at our own house through an entirely different lens.
What a Respite Placement Taught Me
Looking back, I realize I had prepared for our respite placement almost as if we were having houseguests.
I had clean sheets and fresh towels ready. I’d bought a small welcome gift and kid-friendly snacks. I wanted the children to feel comfortable in our home.
What I hadn’t thought about was the fact that children don’t move through a house the way adult guests do.
Drawers were opened. Closets were explored. Things within reach were picked up and examined. Even my laptop, tucked away in a drawer, didn’t stay tucked away for long.
None of this was necessarily a problem. It just hadn’t occurred to me.
When I stay at someone else’s house, I don’t open their dresser drawers or look through their closets. I don’t pick up everything that catches my attention. Without realizing it, that was the perspective I had used when preparing our house.
I had prepared a comfortable place for guests. I hadn’t yet learned how to prepare our space for children.
What I Understand Differently Now
If I were preparing for that first respite placement again, I would:
- Empty dressers and closets completely
- Assume every drawer will be opened
- Put away anything I truly don’t want touched
- Look at each room through a child’s eyes
We had done what we needed to do to make our house safe and meet the requirements of the home study. What I hadn’t understood yet was that preparing our house for approval and preparing to actually share our space with children weren’t quite the same thing.
That part I had to learn by living it.
If you’re navigating adoption or foster care—or trying to understand some of the things no one can fully prepare you for—you’re welcome to follow along. I share what I learned through our foster-to-adopt journey, including the things I wish I’d understood sooner.
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