We were still in the middle of our home study—checking boxes, filling out paperwork, making sure everything in our house met the requirements.
I thought that would be the hardest part.
It wasn’t.
The hardest part was the training.
I wasn’t prepared for what foster care training would feel like.
I Thought Training Would Be the Easy Part
I’ve always loved school.
I like learning. I like structure. I like being in a classroom.
So when we signed up for our required foster care training hours, I assumed I’d handle it just fine.
But this wasn’t that kind of learning.
I cried through many of the sessions.
The trauma. The neglect. The abuse.
I was hearing about things no child should ever have to endure.
Some classes included experienced foster parents sharing their stories.
And if I’m being honest, there were days I wished I hadn’t heard them.
Not because their stories weren’t important.
But because I didn’t yet know how to carry what I was hearing.
I Was Learning About a Reality I Couldn’t Fix
I wasn’t just learning policies and procedures.
I was being asked to sit with realities I couldn’t fix while also trying to absorb information I might eventually need as a parent.
That was the part I hadn’t expected.
I couldn’t hear these stories, take notes and then leave them behind in the classroom.
They stayed with me.
At the time, I think I interpreted how emotional I felt as something I needed to get better at controlling.
Looking back, I see it differently.
I don’t think I needed to become less emotional about what I was hearing.
I needed to understand that being affected by it didn’t mean I wasn’t capable of doing this.
I could be heartbroken by what I was learning and still keep learning.
Would I do the training again?
Absolutely.
I wouldn’t want to walk into foster care without it.
I just wish I’d understood before that first class that some of the hardest things I would learn wouldn’t be policies, procedures or rules.
They would be the reasons children needed foster care in the first place.
More From This Journey
If you’re walking this journey, these posts may help too:
- What I Didn’t Understand About Trauma Before We Adopted
- Choosing a Foster Care Agency: What I Wish I Knew Before We Started
- When I Needed a Break From Talking About Adoption
If you’re navigating adoption or foster care—or trying to understand some of the things no one can fully prepare you for—you’re welcome to follow along. I share what I learned through our foster-to-adopt journey, including the things I wish I’d understood sooner.
Subscribe to Mindful Momma Moments to get new posts in your inbox.
Leave a Reply