I remember a very specific conversation with my college roommate senior year.
We had just gotten home from a fun night out and somehow ended up mapping out our entire lives over late-night snacks.
We were so sure.
She was engaged.
I was dating my high school sweetheart—we had already been ring shopping.
We had a plan:
Married by 23
First baby at 25
Second by 28
One boy, one girl—obviously
Life figured out by 30
We really believed our thirties would be easy.
And Then… Life Happened
A few months later, I got engaged.
So far, so good.
And then—
We broke up.
Un-engaged.
Heartbroken.
Graduation was coming.
I had no job.
And I was single for the first time in my adult life.
The plan?
Gone.
The Part I Didn’t See Coming
Up until then, life had felt predictable.
Good childhood.
Good grades.
Got into the one college I applied to.
Steady relationship.
Fun friends.
Everything just…worked.
Until it didn’t.
What 21-Year-Old Me Didn’t Know
Life isn’t linear.
It twists.
It pauses.
It breaks things open.
And somehow, it still moves forward.
Some of the things I never planned for ended up shaping my life the most—
Including becoming a stay-at-home mom through adoption.
What I’d Say Now (At 45)
If I could go back, I’d say this:
Stop comparing.
It doesn’t matter if you:
- married later
- changed paths
- became a mom in a way you didn’t expect
- or don’t have the “perfect” version of life you imagined
Your life is still yours.
The Part I’m Still Learning
A friend once told me on my wedding day:
“Take a minute. Look around. Really take it in.”
I did.
And those moments are still clear in my mind.
That’s the part we miss when we rush forward—
We forget to actually be in it.
Still Figuring It Out
At 45, I still don’t feel like I have it all figured out.
I still call my mom every Easter to ask how to boil eggs.
Every summer for corn-on-the-cob instructions.
And occasionally to ask where something is in the grocery store.
Am I a grown-up?
Technically.
Do I feel like one all the time?
Not even a little.
So Here I Am
Not comparing.
Not rushing.
Not following a timeline that never really existed.
Just trying to be present in the life I actually have.
Your Turn
Do you ever feel like you’re still figuring it out too?
I’d love to hear your story—because I have a feeling none of us really got the manual.
💌 Before You Go
If this resonated with you, you’re in the right place.
I share honest stories about motherhood, midlife, and all the unexpected detours along the way.
Stick around—I’m really glad you’re here.
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