Navigating Infertility and Adoption: Our “Maybe Baby” Journey

Our “Maybe Baby” Phase: Awkward, Emotional, and Unexpected

A few years into marriage, I found myself inching closer to the charmingly labeled “geriatric” age group for pregnancy. We always pictured one child – just one – so we figured it was time to tiptoe into that infamous “maybe baby” phase.

Let me just say…I’m awkward by nature, and this phase did not disappoint.

Cue: a flood of doctor appointments, invasive questions, and uncomfortable exams. I tracked everything – cycles, symptoms, moods – and probably knew my body better than I ever had. Every test came back with “good news.” At least on my end.

Then came my husband’s turn.

He was diagnosed with a low sperm count. Not impossible – just very unlikely. There was a procedure that could boost our odds, but I left that decision up to him. He chose not to pursue it, and I fully supported his choice.

Looking back, I can say with clarity: This would’ve been a great time to get a therapist. But we didn’t. I didn’t. No personal therapist, no couples counseling. It was a hard season – emotionally, relationally, hormonally – and I wish I’d had more support navigating that chapter of our marriage.

When Everyone Asks, “So, When Are You Having a Baby?”

Once you’ve been married a few years, people stop asking if you’re having kids and start asking when. I began opening up, starting with my parents. I’m an only child, so it felt like I was crushing their grandparent dreams.

Then I shared with a few close friends that we likely wouldn’t conceive naturally.

It got…awkward.

I was in my 30s. Friends all around me were announcing pregnancies – first babies, second babies, even third babies. They hesitated to tell me, trying to be sensitive. I was genuinely happy for them – and quietly heartbroken for me. Why couldn’t I just have one?

Talking About Adoption and Facing Hard Questions

As we began considering adoption, I started sharing that too. It felt right – even though I didn’t know anyone personally who had adopted. Everyone close to us was loving and supportive…but unsure how to walk with us through something so unfamiliar.

Common Reactions That Surprised Me

From casual acquaintances – coworkers, nurses, people in waiting rooms – I heard some shocking comments:

“How could you love someone else’s child?”
“My husband would never adopt.”
“We couldn’t love a child that wasn’t ours.”

I was stunned. Hurt. And honestly, disappointed in humanity.

So I did what I tend to do: I started researching. I read everything. Talked to everyone. Told people – maybe with more confidence than I felt – “It’s okay. We’ll just adopt.”

If You’re in the Maybe-Baby Phase Too…

If you’ve ever felt alone navigating infertility, family planning, or the beginning of an adoption journey, I see you. You’re not alone – even if it feels that way.

I’ll be sharing more about our adoption process soon and how I eventually became a stay-at-home mom to the most amazing daughter I never dreamed would be mine.

If that sounds like a journey you’d like to follow, I’d love for you to subscribe below.