We recently took our daughter to her first college football game.
She’s not particularly interested in football. I’m not sure she could tell you much about the actual game.
But she loves everything around it.
The band. The cheerleaders. The crowds. The energy of a college campus on game day.
There were parts of the day she absolutely loved.
There were also parts that were really hard.
At one point, she became overwhelmed in the middle of a crowded walkway. There were tears, frustration and some not-so-great moments from both of us.
By the time we got home, I was exhausted.
But something interesting happened afterward.
When my daughter talked about the day, she talked about how much fun she’d had.
And it reminded me of something I’ve noticed before:
Sometimes a day can feel incredibly hard while we’re living it and still have been a good day.
That’s one of the things that can be hard for me to remember in the moment.
She can genuinely love an experience and still become overwhelmed by parts of it.
One doesn’t cancel out the other.
I’ve Seen This Before
It was the same with our Disney trip a few years ago.
At the time, it felt overwhelming. There were hard moments, exhaustion and a lot of stress. I remember coming home feeling like I needed a vacation from our vacation.
But with a few years of distance, something has shifted.
I remember the good parts more clearly now, too.
And my daughter talks about that trip like it was one of the best experiences of her life.
A Day Doesn’t Have to Be Easy to Be Good
A hard moment doesn’t necessarily ruin everything that came before it—or everything that happens after it.
My daughter can become overwhelmed and still have fun.
I can feel completely exhausted afterward and still be glad we went.
And with a little distance, sometimes the hardest moments stop taking up quite so much space in the memory.
Maybe that’s what I need to remember the next time we’re in the middle of a hard moment.
The hard part can be real without becoming the whole story.
I’m curious if other parents have noticed this, too. Have you ever had an outing that felt incredibly hard in the moment, only to have your child remember it as an amazing day?
You May Enjoy
- Traveling With My Neurodivergent Child: Is It Even Worth It?
- How Parenting My Neurodivergent Child Changed the Way I Move Through the World
If you’re also parenting a neurodivergent child and figuring out what works for your family, you’re welcome to follow along. I share what we’re learning as we go—the things that work, the things that don’t, and the things I wish I’d understood sooner.
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