Today we went to a local campus for tailgating and a football game. It was our daughter’s very first college football game.
Now, she’s not into sports – she barely knows the difference between football and basketball – but she loves the tailgating, the band, the cheerleaders, and the excitement of campus on game day.
If I were the kind of person who posted pictures of our outing on Facebook, it would look like the perfect family day. Smiles, fun, energy, togetherness. Friends would scroll by and think, “Wow, they have it all together.”
But that’s not the full story.
The Bits in Between Nobody Sees
Behind those “perfect” pictures are the pieces no one captures:
- A meltdown while walking through the crowd
- Sharp words exchanged between us in frustration
- The embarrassment of being shoved in front of my friends
- The constant fluster of managing mood shifts and sensory overload
Those are the bits in between – the messy reality of parenting that hides beneath the highlight reel. For families raising neurodivergent kids, these unseen struggles often feel even louder.
Why the Good Memories Stick Around
Here’s the strange thing: when I look back on days like today, the good memories usually stick around longer than the hard ones – even if it takes a while.
It was the same with our Disney World trip a few years ago. Honestly, in the moment, it was rough. Meltdowns, exhaustion, and overwhelm were constant companions. I needed weeks to decompress afterward.
And yet…when I think of that trip now, I mostly remember the magic. Even my daughter – who lived through every meltdown with me – talks about it like it was one of the best trips ever. She remembers the fun, not the struggles.
Maybe that’s the gift of childhood. Maybe kids are wired to hold onto the joy.
Learning to Let Go of the Hard Parts
I’m trying to do the same: to focus on the memories that matter and let the messy bits fade with time.
But it’s not easy. The “in between” moments are loud in my mind. They replay when I’m tired and make me second-guess myself as a parent.
Still, when I see my daughter light up at the band or talk about the “best day ever” after Disney, I realize she’s already doing the forgetting for me. Maybe I can learn from her.
Let’s Talk
Do your kids remember the fun parts, even when the day felt hard for you? Is this just part of parenting, or does it feel different when raising neurodivergent kids? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments.
Want More Honest Parenting Stories?
If this post resonated, subscribe for more reflections on parenting, adoption, and finding joy in the messy middle of family life. You’ll also get encouragement and resources straight to your inbox.
Mindful Momma Moments 
Leave a comment