Back Then, Life Looked Very Different
In my mid-20s, my weekends were all about late nights, loud bars, and new friendships. Twenty years later, I prefer reunions that start at 3 p.m. – with daylight still on my side.
Back then, I had just moved back to my hometown after a rough breakup with my long-term boyfriend. Most of my friends were “couple friends,” and I wasn’t exactly eager to hang around as the extra wheel.
Finding new friends wasn’t about swiping or apps – it was a “show up everywhere and talk to everyone” kind of networking.
I bumped into a few people I knew casually from high school, and they quickly became my people. We hit the local bars, grabbed dinner at the same handful of restaurants, and navigated the young professional scene together.
Showing Up Was Everything
Back then, making friends meant actually showing up. I joined a few young professional groups, volunteered for anything I could, and saw the same familiar faces weekend after weekend.
It was new, exciting, and a huge confidence boost. I had my little apartment, a new job, and an open calendar full of possibility. My weekdays were for working, but my nights and weekends were for laughter, late dinners, and spontaneous fun.
Meeting People Then vs. Now
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be young and single today.
How do you give someone the “wrong number” when everyone just texts you immediately – while standing there, watching your phone buzz? Awkward.
Are people in bars glued to their phones now? Do strangers still strike up conversations that turn into lifelong friendships? I honestly have no idea and probably never will.
A Reunion, 20 Years Later
Last weekend, a group of us from that young professional crowd had a little reunion. Just typing “20 years later” blows my mind. How has it been two decades since I was 25?
We met at “our bar,” which of course is no longer ours at all. So much has changed, yet somehow, so much hasn’t.
One big difference? We started our reunion at 3:00 in the afternoon instead of 10:00 at night. That’s right – daylight was still on our side.
Walking in with one of my best friends felt like stepping back in time. Familiar faces greeted me, and for a few hours, it was just like the old days – laughing, catching up, swapping stories about jobs, spouses, kids, and where life has taken us.
Everything has changed, yet the connection felt exactly the same.
Of course, my back had other opinions. After a couple of hours of standing (even in sensible shoes), I was dying to sit down. How did we ever stand in bars for hours in our 20s without a single ache or pain?
P.S. If you’re heading to a reunion (or just chasing kids, carting craft supplies, or standing in line for pickup), here are a few ‘sensible-but-cute’ sneakers I found that won’t make your back revolt.
New Balance Women’s 515 V3 Sneaker – Retro style meets comfort – great for everyday wear in your 40s
Rothy’s The Lace Up Sneaker – slightly higher price point, but premium build with comfort and sustainability
Steve Madden Verdict Mesh Sneaker – Style-forward but still sensible – good for the “I want to look put together without sacrificing comfort”
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What I’ve Learned About Friendship in My 40s
I sometimes miss those carefree nights out with new friends, handing out wrong numbers, and staying up until sunrise.
But as I left our reunion – comfy shoes on, sun still shining – I realized something:
I was exactly where I needed to be in my 20s, and I’m exactly where I need to be now.
Friendship in your 40s looks different. It’s quieter, deeper, and built on shared history instead of shared bar tabs. It’s about showing up when life gets complicated, not just when it’s fun.
And honestly? I’ll take a 3:00 p.m. reunion over a last call any day.
Your Turn
Do you ever look back at your 20s and wonder how you had the energy? Would you go back for a night or are you perfectly happy in your “sensible shoes” stage of life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
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