When Small Talk Turns Personal
Here’s the scenario: you’re meeting someone new. The conversation flows easily – small talk, shared interests – and then comes the inevitable question:
“So… what do you do?”
It’s a standard icebreaker. A simple question. But for me, it used to come with a knot in my stomach.
I’ve been a stay-at-home momma for seven years now, and honestly? I wouldn’t trade this time for anything. I’m proud of the life we’ve built, the flexibility we’ve created, and the everyday moments I get to share with my daughter. This is the life I dreamed of.
We planned carefully for this – saving money, buying and selling fixer-uppers, and making intentional choices to create the life we wanted.
So Why Do I Downplay It?
Despite all that pride, when someone asks what I do for a living, my response usually sounds like:
“Oh, I just stay home with our daughter. I quit my job when we adopted her.”
Just stay home.
I quit my job.
Why do I soften the truth? Why do I explain my choice like it’s a backup plan instead of a dream realized?
If I were CEO of anything other than my household, I’d probably wear the company logo on a t-shirt. But instead, I fumble through my answer – diminishing my own work.
This Is My Dream Job
Being a stay-at-home momma is my dream job.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. I often joke that I have the toughest boss I’ve ever had – my daughter.
When I do open up, most people respond kindly:
- “I don’t know how you do it – it’s such a hard job.”
- “I could never stay home – it would drive me crazy!”
I know the intention is supportive. But sometimes, those well-meaning comments make me feel like I have to prove that staying home is “enough.”
Finding My Voice Again
I never want to sound disconnected or unaware of the privilege this choice represents. Not every mom who wants to stay home can. That reality isn’t lost on me.
But minimizing my role doesn’t serve anyone – not me, and not my daughter who’s watching how I model self-worth.
So next time someone asks, I’m dropping the “just.”
I’ll say:
“I stay home with our daughter.”
No disclaimers. No apologies. No shrinking.
Because I’m not just anything.
I’m a mother. A teacher. A planner. A schedule-keeper. A builder of confidence.
And I’m proud of that.
Let’s Reframe the Conversation
Do you ever downplay your stay-at-home mom status?
Have you ever gotten the polite head tilt and the “oh” response?
Let’s talk about it. Let’s normalize it. And maybe – just maybe – let’s answer that question with pride next time.
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