I spoke with a very dear friend the other day and realized just how much better I felt afterward. A simple conversation with someone who truly knows you can do that – it grounds you.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how to help my daughter understand what friendship really means. She’s still learning what it looks like to find “her people.” But the truth is, even as adults, we’re still figuring it out too.
I’ve had so many kinds of friends over the years – some for a season, some for a lifetime – and those relationships shape how I want to guide her through hers.
The Many Shapes Friendship Takes
Some friends are in our lives for only a short time, while others stay forever. First impressions can be wrong. The friend who seems like a perfect match might only be with you for a moment… and the one who felt temporary might circle back when you least expect it.
Some people enter our lives disguised as friends, only to become someone we no longer need. Some walk away for good. Some return years later. And a rare few – the steady, unwavering ones – stay through every season.
I’ve Never Been a Big-Group Person
I’m not the “big group of girlfriends” type. I’ve always preferred one-on-one conversations: dinner with another couple, coffee with a girlfriend, long phone calls where we actually catch up.
It’s funny – the song Somebody That I Used to Know is technically about a breakup, but friendships can fade in that same quiet way. People drift. Life shifts. Our timelines move ahead.
By my mid-20s, many friendships had naturally become “somebody I used to know.” Would social media have kept us connected? Maybe. Maybe not. Some friendships are meant to be short chapters.
The “Everyday” Friends Matter Too
I also have wonderful friends in my daily life – neighbors I walk with and school-mom friends I see at events and around our community. These friendships make the day feel lighter, and I truly treasure them.
But they tend to stay on the surface – easy, pleasant, in-the-moment connections that help me feel rooted where I live.
My deeper, heart-level friendships are a much smaller circle. Those are the ones that have walked with me through multiple versions of myself.
A Friendship That Grew With Me
One of my closest friendships began my freshman year of college. Two strangers thrown into a dorm room with no matching questionnaires or curated introductions – just two teenagers figuring out how to share space.
We were different, but it worked. We respected each other, we laughed, we survived that first year.
Years later, after losing touch a bit, we ran into each other by complete coincidence – living in the same apartment complex. What were the odds?
Our lives have moved in parallel ever since: jobs, moves, marriages, motherhood. We both married later in life and eventually became moms in different but deeply meaningful ways – mine through adoption, hers through marriage.
Months can pass without a text, but one call drops us right back into place.
Friends From Every Chapter
I have friendships from high school, old jobs, and my early career that still mean the world to me. We don’t talk constantly. Sometimes we go weeks or months without checking in. But when we do… it’s effortless.
These aren’t daily-life friends. They’re heart friends – the ones who know the unfiltered versions of me, the ones who’ve seen me through some of the hardest and best moments of my adulthood.
What “Best Friend” Really Means
The funny thing is, I rarely see my closest friends. We all have busy lives and full calendars. But real friendship doesn’t require constant attention.
Because real friendship doesn’t fade. It waits.
What I Want My Daughter to Know
Cherish the friends who know your history and your heart.
The ones who make you feel seen after five minutes on the phone.
The ones who weave in and out of your timeline but never out of your story.
If you have even one of those people, you’re incredibly lucky.
And I hope my daughter finds friends like that – friends who feel like home.
Why These Friendships Matter (For All of Us)
As I move through motherhood, midlife, and all the transitions in between, I’m realizing how essential these steady, soul-level friendships are. They remind us who we are, they keep us grounded, and they teach our children what healthy connection really looks like. Whether you’re navigating new seasons, rediscovering old friendships, or parenting a child who’s learning how to find “her people,” these relationships shape us in ways that linger long after a conversation ends.
If You Enjoy Reflections on Friendship, Motherhood, and Real Life…
…you’ll feel right at home here.
I share honest stories about raising a daughter, navigating friendships in adulthood, marriage, adoption, and the beautifully imperfect moments that connect us all.
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